FUOAZ: Act 3

The Fantastic Universe Of Anjie Zealand:
Act 3 [One Fell Into The Cuckoo's Nest]

Date: November 21st, 2019

Previously on PZ: Meditations: A Universe Without Love

Previously in Anjie's Universe: The Fantastic Universe Of Anjie Zealand: Act 2 [Art You Happy Now?]

Content Warning: some strong language & drug use ahead.

Anjie Zealand with two of her craziest alter-egos: AK-47 and Freaky Kitty.

Anjie Zealand in the therapist's chair surrounded by two of her most prominent alter-egos: AK-47 (left) and AK-47's most prominent alter-ego, Freaky Kitty (right).

Anjie Zealand in Dimension 5612 standing next to the spaghetti lake.

Dimension 5612 represented in voxels: Anjie standing next to the spaghetti lake

ONE

Scene: 1 (IN ALLSWELL HIGHSCHOOL CLASSROOM #102A)

MRS. WHUMPUSCUTCH: *speaking dryly* "...and then they signed a peace treaty, which lasted until they went to war again three weeks later. As the death toll increased, cannibalism became an issue..."
ANJIE: *sighs deeply*

(THE ENTIRE CLASS IS BORED AND PRACTICALLY PUT TO SLEEP BY THE DRONING VOICE OF THEIR TEACHER, WHO DOESN’T SEEM TO NOTICE AT ALL. ANJIE SITS IN THE BACK PRETENDING TO READ A TEXTBOOK WITH A COMIC BOOK IN IT.)

MRS. WHUMPUSCUTCH: "...then came the royal armada... Miss Zealand, put the comic book away. I know graduation is just around the corner, but we’ve been over this dozens of times now."
ANJIE: *rolls eyes and groans as she shuts the entire textbook*
MRS. WHUMPUSCUTCH: "Thank you. Now, where were we? Oh yes, the armada... Now, when the armada came, there was a rather wide consensus that consumption of human flesh would lead to a zombie apocalypse..."
ANJIE, THINKING: 'Crap in a hat, I just can’t take this anymore... graduating so soon... and yet so far away, ugh... the struggle is so real. How am I gonna get through this??'
PIKABOO: "Hi, Anjie!" *flies around the room merrily above the students’ heads* "Why not ask Dr. Anzeal for help?"
ANJIE: "...Hey, you’re right!"
SEVERAL STUDENTS: *give Anjie questioning looks*
ANJIE: *demurely* "Sorry, sorry." *pretends to take notes*
PIKABOO: "Maybe she could help you find a cure!"
ANJIE, THINKING: 'That’s it! If she really wants to rid the world of disease, she’d definitely help me out! If only I knew how to contact her... I could explain everything to her, and I’m sure she’d have SOMETHING to help me... some sort of serum, or elixir, or a pill or something... a brain chip, even? Hell, I’d take a brain chip implant if it meant having a normal brain for once... I mean, she looked pretty science-y in that painting of hers, maybe she could just replace my entire brain!

Maybe it’s my destiny to meet this Dr. Anzeal lady... I bet she’s nice, and healthy, too. But... how am I gonna find her? Is Anzeal her last name, or her first name? I’ll just Google her name and see what comes up. She’s probably famous, like Dr. Zoe on tv... Well, searching for her would be a helluva lot better use of my time than rotting away in this classroom any longer. If I could just... find a way to be dismissed from class, I could actually do something worthwhile with my life.

I could find a cure and finally be a NORMAL human being, with only me in my head, just like everybody else. Yes! I can finally see some light at the end of the tunnel! I can DO THIS! I am gonna find Dr. Anzeal if it’s the last thing I do!'
ANJIE: *throws fists into the air triumphantly* "EUREKA!!"
MRS. WHUMPUSCUTCH: "Ahem! Have you something to share with the classroom, Miss Zealand?"
ANJIE: *pulls arms down and folds them into her lap* "Oh, um, no, but... I DO need to use the restroom again. Please. It’s an emergency this time."
MRS. WHUMPUSCUTCH: *sighs* "Very well, Anjie. There’s clearly no getting your attention today, and I cannot say that I blame you."
ANJIE: "Thanks, Mrs. Whumpuscutch. I’ll be back in a jiffy." *exits the classroom*
MRS. WHUMPUSCUTCH: "Uh-huh. Well, anyways, class, can anyone tell me the name of the dictator who sawed off his own head? Anyone? Anyone?"

(IN THE ALLSWELL HIGHSCHOOL HALLWAYS)

ANJIE: *opens her locker* "Senioritis sucks, but luckily I have the antidote." *pulls an eletronic tablet from the locker* "Internet! Now, let’s see what we can find on Google." *types in ’Doctor Anzeal’ and presses the search button* "Hmmmm... Oh wow, there’s NOTHING, except... except she’s speaking at Allswell University, one week before graduation. That’s it! That’s her picture right there! What’s she talking about?...Neurodiversity? Huh, that sounds weird... M.D., Ph.D., Masters... she’s got degrees like a fleet of cars, but no other background info? Hmmm..."
PRINCIPAL ANTONIA: "Just what do you think you’re doing out of class, Miss Zealand?"
ANJIE: "Oh! Principal Antonia! I was just -"
PRINCIPAL ANTONIA: *contemptuously* "Purchasing comic books again?"
ANJIE: "Uh, not this time. I was just doing some research..."
PRINCIPAL ANTONIA: "Show it to me."
ANJIE: *sheepishly hands the principal her electronic tablet*
PRINCIPAL ANTONIA: "Dr. Anzeal speaking at Allswell University... what is this about?"
ANJIE: "Uh, well, I um... was thinking of going there, after graduation, so I wanted to check it out, and maybe learn something about Neurodiversity while I’m at it."
PRINCIPAL ANTONIA: *surprised yet impressed* "Is that so?"
ANJIE: "Yeah, absolutely."
PRINCIPAL ANTONIA: "Hmmm. Well, good luck with that, Anjie." *hands her back her tablet, folds hands behind his back* "In the meantime, get back to class, before you earn yourself some detention."
ANJIE: "Yes, sir! Will do! Thank you!" *watches the principal walk away then sighs with relief* "Phew, that was close."
LUCILLE MARIE: *behind Anjie* "Hey, sorry about my dad."
ANJIE: "Uh what?" *turns around* "Oh, Lucille Marie! You heard that?"
LUCILLE MARIE: "Yeah. He’s super into Allswell University because he wants me to go there... by the way, are you really thinking of enrolling there?"
ANJIE: *in a love stupor* "Uh, where? OH! Um, yes, absolutely thinking of enrolling at A.U. I don’t know what I’ll be going for, yet, but I figure I’ll figure it out along the way."
LUCILLE MARIE: "Cool, cool. I’m really interested in their astrophysics program, but my parents... they want me to be a medical doctor."
ANJIE: "Really? Oh wow, that really is something. I’m sure no matter what you decide to do, you’ll be really successful at it. I mean... I’m no straight-A student like you are, which is why I’ve always looked up to you." *laughs nervously*
LUCILLE MARIE: *chuckles* "Thanks, Anjie. Maybe Allswell University won’t be so bad with a familiar face in the crowd."
ANJIE: *sighs dreamily as if in a trance*
LUCILLE MARIE: "Well, I’d better go before I risk getting detention... Dad feels the need to be one of THOSE principals, just to prove he’s not lenient with his own kids. Bye, Anjie." *exits*
ANJIE: "Uh, goodbye!" *whispers to herself* "You talked to me! I can’t believe it! Lucille Marie Antonia, one day I’m going to ask you to marry me." *gasps suddenly* "Hrrnghh! Errreeet! Ohhh noooo!" *twitches and becomes stupefied, drools profusely and wags tongue around* "Hngrrhhhnn... Gahh!"

(ANJIE HAS BEEN POSSESSED BY CREEPY ANJIE, AN ALTERNATE PERSONALITY WHO SNARLS AS SHE BREATHES HEAVILY AND CONSTANTLY HOLDS HER ARMS LIKE A T-REX.)

CREEPY ANJIE: "Heh heh, heh... where’s the girl’s locker room around here? Heh heh..." *walks off slowly with a limp and a lazy eye*

TWO

Scene: 2 (IN DIMENSION 5612, FANTAZMALAND)

ANJIE: *falls into a lake of noodles in a meadow filled with giant mushrooms and glowing wildflowers, exclaims dramatically* "Spaghetti, ugh! So slimy!" *swims to shore and climbs out, shaking spaghetti noodles off her feet, then looks all around* "What... the... FUCK?! Not again, ugh!"

(ANJIE HAS FOUND HERSELF YET AGAIN IN A REALM INSIDE HER OWN MIND, GENERALLY KNOWN AS FANTAZMALAND. A PAINTED WOODEN SIGN NEARBY READS 'WELCOME TO DIMENSION 5612 SOUTHEAST')

ANJIE: "That horrible little black cat! This MUST be her doing! When I find her, I’m going to rip every hair off of her body INDIVIDUALLY!" *looks around nervously* "Uh... which way should I stomp off to?"
GODDAMN WHITE BUNNY RABBIT: "Holy fuck! It’s you, Anjie!"
ANJIE: "GD? Oh man, am I glad I ran into you first!"
GODDAMN WHITE BUNNY RABBIT: "What are you doing on this side of 5612?"
ANJIE: "I just showed up here, I don’t know why. Have you seen AK?"
GODDAMN WHITE BUNNY RABBIT: "AK-58 or AK-93?"
ANJIE: "AK-47."
GODDAMN WHITE BUNNY RABBIT: "Ah, no, haven’t seen her for awhile. But since you’re here now, why not stay awhile?"
ANJIE: "I don’t even know who’s controlling my body! Why the hell would I want to stay here, anyways?"
GODDAMN WHITE BUNNY RABBIT: "There’s a pretty sweet party going down at The Cuckoo Club."
ANJIE: "Out of all the imaginary places inside my head, THAT is the last place I’d EVER want to go."
GODDAMN WHITE BUNNY RABBIT: "So you’d rather hang out in The Realm Of Unspeakable Doom than party with your selves?"
ANJIE: "Well, no, obviously that’s a much worse place to go. That’s not what I meant."
GODDAMN WHITE BUNNY RABBIT: "Oh? Well what did you mean?"
ANJIE: "I mean I’d rather go home."
GODDAMN WHITE BUNNY RABBIT: "This is your home."
ANJIE: "To the real world!"
GODDAMN WHITE BUNNY RABBIT: "That place is lame!"
ANJIE: "That place is real!"
GODDAMN WHITE BUNNY RABBIT: "This place is real, too!"
ANJIE: "Not to the rest of the world! Not to the people who matter!"
GODDAMN WHITE BUNNY RABBIT: "We don’t matter because we’re not real?"
ANJIE: "You don’t matter because you don’t help me succeed at life."
GODDAMN WHITE BUNNY RABBIT: "Well, what if I help you get home? To the real world."
ANJIE: "That... you’d do that for me? Wait, what’s the catch?"
GODDAMN WHITE BUNNY RABBIT: "No catch. We’d just all like to matter a little more to you, that’s all." *points* "This way."
ANJIE: *walking alongside The Goddamn White Bunny Rabbit* "What are you, the ambassador of all Fantazmaland?"
GODDAMN WHITE BUNNY RABBIT: "C’mon, you know this place has a mind of its own."
ANJIE: "Yeah, MY mind, that I can’t even control."
GODDAMN WHITE BUNNY RABBIT: "None of this exists to be controlled, Anjie."
ANJIE: "Yeah, it all exists to drive me mad."
GODDAMN WHITE BUNNY RABBIT: "It’s a big universe. We’re all mad here."
ANJIE: *groans in frustration* "Where are we headed, anyways?"
GODDAMN WHITE BUNNY RABBIT: "Well, you wanted to find AK-47, right? Like, she’s the reason you’re here, right?"
ANJIE: "Right."
GODDAMN WHITE BUNNY RABBIT: "Well, I’m pretty sure she’s the one throwing the party at The Cuckoo Club."
ANJIE: "Ugh, so we’re going there after all. Great! There’s at least, like, 10 Anjies I’ve been avoiding, and I bet -"
BLOOD MUFFINS ANJIE: "Oh my gawd! It’s Anjie!"
CHERRY PIE ANJIE: "Anjie who?"
BLOOD MUFFINS ANJIE: "The First Personality! Hi there, Anjie! Are you guys headed to the party too? I’m hoping my famous blood muffins here will be a hit!"
ANJIE: "Hi, uh yeah we’re headed to the party. I’m not planning on staying for long, though."
CHERRY PIE ANJIE: "Are you afraid that Gossip Anjie might show up?"
ANJIE: *scoffs and puts hands on her hips indignantly* "No! Why would you even say that? We’re cool."
CHERRY PIE ANJIE: "That’s not what _I_ heard."
ANJIE: "Well, you heard wrong, Apple Pie Anjie."
CHERRY PIE ANJIE: "I’m Cherry Pie Anjie! This is cherry pie, see? See the red berries there?"
ANJIE: "Whatever, like it matters. You identify with a pastry."
CHERRY PIE ANJIE: "It matters to me, bitch! Cherry pie is my life!"
BLOOD MUFFINS ANJIE: "Whoa, whoa, guys, calm down, will you? Let’s just take a deep breath and continue on our way, eh? I bet those moving spotlights in the sky over there belong to The Cuckoo Club. That party must be lit!"
ANJIE: "Fine, let’s keep going. The sooner I can get out of here and back into the real world, the better." *walks off*

(CHERRY PIE ANJIE AND BLOOD MUFFINS ANJIE LOOK AT EACH OTHER AND SHRUG.)

GODDAMN WHITE BUNNY RABBIT: "Guys, she’s not having a good day. Go easy on her, okay? She’s looking for AK."
CHERRY PIE ANJIE: "Forty-seven?"
GODDAMN WHITE BUNNY RABBIT: "Yeah."
BLOOD MUFFINS ANJIE: "Ohhh... yeah... I don’t think she’ll be there."
GODDAMN WHITE BUNNY RABBIT: "What? Why not? I thought you said the party was lit?"
BLOOD MUFFINS ANJIE: "Well, I heard it’s one of her personalities that’s throwing the party, that’s why."
GODDAMN WHITE BUNNY RABBIT: "Oh shit... Do you know which personality?"
BLOOD MUFFINS ANJIE: "The invitation came by cuckoo bird, sooo... not really."
GODDAMN WHITE BUNNY RABBIT: "Fuck, that’s definitely something The First Personality would want to know ahead of time. If it’s not one of Ak’s lamer alter-egos, she could be walking into a landmine. C’mon, guys, let’s catch up to her, I don’t even see her up ahead." *exits followed by the two alternate Anjies*

THREE

Scene: 3 (IN THE CUCKOO CLUB, DIMENSION 5612, FANTAZMALAND.)

(THE CLUB IS LOCATED IN A WAREHOUSE ON A FLOATING ISLAND ABOVE A CRATER FULL OF LAVA. ANJIE CROSSES THE BRIDGE & ENTERS THE NEON-LIT NIGHTCLUB. ALL OVER THE PLACE ARE ALTERNATE VERSIONS OF HERSELF, DANCING, TALKING, PLAYING ARCADE GAMES, DRINKING, MAKING OUT...)

DJ ANJIE: "Hey, look who’s here, everybody! The First Personality is in tha houuuuuse!"

(MANY ANJIES CHEER AND HOLLER. ANJIE WAVES SHYLY AND PROCEEDS TO THE BAR.)

ANJIE: "Hey, Bartender, the usual, please."
BARTENDER ANJIE: "Cranberry and vodka, light ice, comin’ right up!"
MARDI GRAS ANJIE: *from afar* "Whoooo, Anjieee! Get it, girl!" *falls down drunk*

(FEELING ALOOF, ANJIE RECEIVES HER DRINK AND BECOMES SURROUNDED BY DIFFERENT VERSIONS OF HERSELF WHO ARE ALL EAGER FOR HER ATTENTION.)

DISCO ANJIE: "Hey there Anjie! I’m glad to see you could make it!"
ANJIE: "Hey there, Disco Anjie. I’m here because of AK-47, have you seen her?"
DISCO ANJIE: "No, I can’t say I have. But she throws a wicked good party, doesn’t she?!" *dances away*
DRUG DEALER ANJIE: "Hey there, Anjie, care for some drugs? I’ve got cocaine, meth, acid, DMT from planet Neptune, and 7 kinds of psychedelic mushrooms."
ANJIE: "Uhh, no, thank you, I’m crazy enough without all those things. BUT, I bet you ten bucks that Tripping Anjie and Tweaker Anjie are huddled in some dark corner around here somewhere, you should go bother them."
COWGIRL ANJIE: "Howdy there, First Personality Anjie!"
DOUBLE-HEADED ANJIE: "Hey, Anjie! Long time no see!"
SCREAMING ANJIE: *runs past screaming* "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"
ZOMBIE ANJIE: "Brraaaiiinnssss..." *slobbers*
ANJIE: "Ick, get away from me, Creepy Anjie!" *forcefully pushes Zombie Anjie away*
CHERRY PIE ANJIE: "That’s ZOMBIE Anjie. Creepy Anjie’s controlling your body."
ANJIE: "How would YOU know that?"
CHERRY PIE ANJIE: "Oracle Anjie told me. Also, the entire reason you’re here is currently swimming in the glitter fountain with Mermaid Anjie. I thought you’d wanna know."
ANJIE: "Oh, uh... good lookin’ out. Thanks. Excuse me, everybody, First Personality coming through!"

(ANJIE PUSHES PAST A CLUSTER OF HER SELVES AND WALKS OVER TO THE FAMED GLITTER FOUNTAIN, WHERE AK’S ENTIRE BODY IS SUBMERGED EXCEPT FOR HER TAIL, WHICH ACTS LIKE A SUBMARINE PERISCOPE)

MERMAID ANJIE: *squealing with delightful laughter*
ANJIE: "Hey, AK! Come on out here and face me, we’ve got major beef."
FREAKY KITTY: *in her signature crazed voice* "SURPRISE! Glad you made it!"
ANJIE: *shocked* "Freaky? YOU brought me here?!"
FREAKY KITTY: "Do ya like the party? I threw it for you!"
ANJIE: "Now is not a good time for this!"
FREAKY KITTY: "You say that EVERY time! You NEVER have time for us! So, I thought, why not just throw a little get-together and give YOU a little vacation from the real world?"
MERMAID ANJIE: *smiles at Anjie and nods quickly in agreement with Freaky Kitty*
ANJIE: "Things FINALLY started to get good for me in the real world right before you brought me here! I was talking to my dream girl, and then YOU fucked it all up by putting Creepy Anjie in charge of my body!"
FREAKY KITTY: "What? Oh man, I meant to put Zombie Anjie in charge. I thought your peers would get a real kick outta her." *imitates a zombie pose and voice* "Brains!"
ANJIE: "That is STILL a horrible idea! All of your ideas are horrible ideas!"
FREAKY KITTY: "So, tell me about our dream girl. She’s so sexy, yes?"
ANJIE: "Don’t change the subject, Freaky. Also, Lucille’s not 'our' dream girl, she’s MY dream girl."
GODDAMN WHITE BUNNY RABBIT: "Anjie! I’ve been looking everywhere for you! I -" *sees Freaky Kitty* "Oh. You found her, I see."
ANJIE: "Yeah, this is definitely not what I anticipated happening, but here we are." *shrugs and smirks discontentedly*
FREAKY KITTY: "Oh lordy, The Goddamned White Bunny Rabbit is in tha houuuuuse! By the way, I invited a close friend of yours. She’ll be arriving any second now." *smiles smugly*
GODDAMN WHITE BUNNY RABBIT: *horrified* "What?"
ANJIE: *confused* "What?"

(BLACK RAINBOW COMES CRASHING DOWN THROUGH A SKYLIGHT AND LANDS ON THE GROUND WITH A HEAVY THUD. SHE SCANS THE CROWD OF ANJIES UNTIL SHE FINDS THE GODDAMN WHITE BUNNY, THEN MENACINGLY POINTS BOTH HER ROCKET LAUNCHER AND HER SAMURAI SWORD DIRECTLY AT HIM.)

BLACK RAINBOW: *in her signature Russian accent* "Pardon me, ladies, while I eliminate this scum."
SCREAMING ANJIE: *runs past screaming* "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"
ANJIE: *wide-eyed* "Ohhhh shit."
GODDAMN WHITE BUNNY RABBIT: *runs away screaming* "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

(ANJIE WINCES AS ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE IN THE CLUB. BLACK RAINBOW CHASES THE GODDAMN BUNNY AROUND THE ROOM, HER SWORD NARROWLY MISSING HIM SEVERAL TIMES AS VARIOUS ANJIES LOOK ON OR RUN AWAY. TABLES FLIP OVER AND BEER GLASSES SHATTER ON THE FLOOR AS THE GODDAMN BUNNY HURRIEDLY TAKES A RUNNING DIVE INTO THE GLITTER FOUNTAIN. MERMAID ANJIE FREAKS OUT AS BLACK RAINBOW SMIRKS AND AIMS HER ROCKET LAUNCHER AT THE FOUNTAIN’S BASE.)

MERMAID ANJIE: *waving her hands in alarm* "No, no, no, no, NO!"

(KABOOM!! BLACK RAINBOW BLOWS UP THE FOUNTAIN AND GLITTER EXPLODES EVERYWHERE.)

FREAKY KITTY: *in a frenzied rage* "You monochrome Russian bitch!" *savagely attacks Black Rainbow and makes catfight hissing noises*
BLACK RAINBOW: "Get off of me, stupid animal!" *forcefully throws Freaky Kitty off and aims at her with the rocket launcher*
FREAKY KITTY: *leaps through mid air with claws out, growling ferociously with fire in her crazy eyes*
BLACK RAINBOW: "Goodnight, pussycat." *fires a rocket and hits Freaky Kitty squarely between the eyes*
ANJIE: "FREAKY!" *hurriedly runs to where Freaky Kitty’s body fell*
BLACK RAINBOW: "Come out, come out, wherever you are, little white plush bunny terrorist..." *scans the room but doesn’t see him, she is perplexed momentarily but then stabs her samurai sword up into the sky*
GODDAMN WHITE BUNNY RABBIT: *shrieks* "OWWW!!! Chandelier, bad idea." *lets out a death groan as he slides slowly down the blade*

(BLACK RAINBOW SMILES IN TRIUMPH AS SEVERAL ANJIES CRY OUT IN TERROR; SHE THROWS THE GODDAMN BUNNY’S BODY ON THE GROUND BESIDE MERMAID ANJIE, WHO SCREAMS DRAMATICALLY IN HORROR.)

BLACK RAINBOW: "My work here is done." *begins walking off with heavy footsteps*
GODDAMN WHITE BUNNY RABBIT: *suddenly pops up, alive, across the room behind the bar, his corpse disappeared* "Ha, HA! I’m back, bitch!" *blows a raspberry and runs out of the club’s front entrance with a bottle of tequila*
BLACK RAINBOW: *enraged* "You little...!! I will kill you if it is the last thing I do!" *runs out of the club after The Goddamn Bunny*

(THE CUCKOO CLUB INTERIOR IS A WRECK, BUT ANJIE REMAINS KNEELING BY FREAKY KITTY’S MOTIONLESS BODY, TRYING TO WAKE HER AS THE REMAINING ALTERNATE ANJIES CONTINUE TO PARTY AROUND THEM.)

ANJIE: "Freaky-Kitty... c’mon, wake your damn ass up, I need you to send me back home."
AK-47: *groans in a heavy daze* "Ugh, whaat haaapened?"
ANJIE: "AK? 47? Well... I guess the same thing that happened to me, happened to you too. Freaky really got us both good this time."
AK-47: "Arrgh, my head! It’s throbbing in pain!" *sobs unhappily* "I just wanna crawl into a big black hole and die!"
CHRONICALLY LATE ANJIE: *bursts through the club’s front entrance and exclaims dramatically* "Chronically Late Anjie is in da hoouuuuuuuse!!"
AK-47: *howls in pain, covers her ears and sobs in the fetal position*
ANJIE: *visibly sympathetic* "Alright, AK, we’ve got to get you somewhere quieter where you can nurse this hangover Freaky left you with. I guess your personalities are pretty mean dicks to you, too." *gently picks up AK-47 and carries her out of the club*

(IN DIMENSION 5612, FANTAZMALAND, JUST IN FRONT OF THE CUCKOO CLUB BRIDGE.)

ANJIE: *carefully lays slumbering AK-47’s body down upon the cap of a giant toadstool* "There you go, get some sleep. You just had to get out of that crazy place." *takes a long look at the environment around her* "And now, it’s time for ME to get out of this crazy place... without any of your help. Great. Just great."

*sighs heavily and paces to & fro* "Okay, how do I do this? I just... think of home. A lot. That’s pretty simple." *closes eyes and tries to meditate* "Uh... sausages, mowing the grass, Allswell High, um... comic books, allowance, chocolate ice cream..." *opens eyes and looks around* "Oh, it didn’t work. Hmmm. Chocolate ice cream, with cinnamon and honey... Cocoa flavored skin... Oh, I know!" *brightens up with a good idea, then smiles contentedly and shuts her eyes*

"...LUCILLE MARIE ANTONIA, the most beautiful girl of my dreams, a lighthouse on the cosmic oceans leading me home..."

FOUR

Scene: 4 (IN ALLSWELL HIGHSCHOOL LIBRARY)

ANJIE: *opens eyes, looks around* "Gosh, that was fast. Huh." *sees the whiteboard with 'DETENTION' written upon it* "AWWW, man, detention! Rats! This fucking sucks." *slumps dejectedly in her seat, irritated as hell* "Screw it, I might as well." *pulls a joint out of her backpack and lights it up, then feels a tap on her shoulder*
LUCILLE MARIE: "Ahem... Mind if I share with you?" *gestures to the burning joint*
ANJIE: "Of course! Please, have a seat!" *hands Lucille Marie the joint* "I didn’t know you smoked."
LUCILLE MARIE: "That’s why I’m here, actually. Mrs. Whumpuscutch caught me smoking in the bathroom, and of course my dad got all embarrassed by it." *inhales on the joint and exhales, handing it off to Anjie*
ANJIE: "Sounds like he could use a drag or two himself, chill out a little bit."
LUCILLE MARIE: "For sure. He’s a great dad, though. He just wants what’s best for me. He doesn’t know anything about all the wonderful things about marijuana, he just knows it’s a plant that was illegal for most of his life."
ANJIE: "It’s such a shame, too, because I love getting super stoned and I’ll just relax while listening to a Pink Floyd or a Beatles album on repeat."
LUCILLE MARIE: "Oh my gosh, my parents love the Beatles, and ’Dark Side Of The Moon’ is my favorite Floyd album!"
ANJIE: "No way! That’s awesome. My parents, they pretty much stick to classical music. I mean, it’s nice, but sometimes I just need a good beat, yanno what I mean?"
LUCILLE MARIE: "Haha, yeah, I do. Hey Anjie, you’re actually pretty cool. It’s hard to believe we’ve been going to the same school for four years and we’ve barely talked until now, when we’re about to graduate."
ANJIE: "True, but... better late than never."
LUCILLE MARIE: "Yeah, you’re right... better late than never."

The Fantastic Universe Of Anjie Zealand:
Act 3 [One Fell Into The Cuckoo's Nest]

Scene: 1 (IN ALLSWELL HIGHSCHOOL CLASSROOM #102A)

(THE ENTIRE CLASS IS BORED AND PRACTICALLY PUT TO SLEEP BY THE DRONING VOICE OF THEIR TEACHER, WHO DOESN’T SEEM TO NOTICE AT ALL. ANJIE SITS IN THE BACK PRETENDING TO READ A TEXTBOOK WITH A COMIC BOOK IN IT.)

(IN THE ALLSWELL HIGHSCHOOL HALLWAYS)

(ANJIE HAS BEEN POSSESSED BY CREEPY ANJIE, AN ALTERNATE PERSONALITY WHO SNARLS AS SHE BREATHES HEAVILY AND CONSTANTLY HOLDS HER ARMS LIKE A T-REX.)

Scene: 2 (IN DIMENSION 5612, FANTAZMALAND)

(ANJIE HAS FOUND HERSELF YET AGAIN IN A REALM INSIDE HER OWN MIND, GENERALLY KNOWN AS FANTAZMALAND. A PAINTED WOODEN SIGN NEARBY READS 'WELCOME TO DIMENSION 5612 SOUTHEAST')

(CHERRY PIE ANJIE AND BLOOD MUFFINS ANJIE LOOK AT EACH OTHER AND SHRUG.)

Scene: 3 (IN THE CUCKOO CLUB, DIMENSION 5612, FANTAZMALAND.)

(THE CLUB IS LOCATED IN A WAREHOUSE ON A FLOATING ISLAND ABOVE A CRATER FULL OF LAVA. ANJIE CROSSES THE BRIDGE & ENTERS THE NEON-LIT NIGHTCLUB. ALL OVER THE PLACE ARE ALTERNATE VERSIONS OF HERSELF, DANCING, TALKING, PLAYING ARCADE GAMES, DRINKING, MAKING OUT...)

(MANY ANJIES CHEER AND HOLLER. ANJIE WAVES SHYLY AND PROCEEDS TO THE BAR.)

(FEELING ALOOF, ANJIE RECEIVES HER DRINK AND BECOMES SURROUNDED BY DIFFERENT VERSIONS OF HERSELF WHO ARE ALL EAGER FOR HER ATTENTION.)

(ANJIE PUSHES PAST A CLUSTER OF HER SELVES AND WALKS OVER TO THE FAMED GLITTER FOUNTAIN, WHERE AK’S ENTIRE BODY IS SUBMERGED EXCEPT FOR HER TAIL, WHICH ACTS LIKE A SUBMARINE PERISCOPE)

(BLACK RAINBOW COMES CRASHING DOWN THROUGH A SKYLIGHT AND LANDS ON THE GROUND WITH A HEAVY THUD. SHE SCANS THE CROWD OF ANJIES UNTIL SHE FINDS THE GODDAMN WHITE BUNNY, THEN MENACINGLY POINTS BOTH HER ROCKET LAUNCHER AND HER SAMURAI SWORD DIRECTLY AT HIM.)

(KABOOM!! BLACK RAINBOW BLOWS UP THE FOUNTAIN AND GLITTER EXPLODES EVERYWHERE.)

(BLACK RAINBOW SMILES IN TRIUMPH AS SEVERAL ANJIES CRY OUT IN TERROR; SHE THROWS THE GODDAMN BUNNY’S BODY ON THE GROUND BESIDE MERMAID ANJIE, WHO SCREAMS DRAMATICALLY IN HORROR.)

(THE CUCKOO CLUB INTERIOR IS A WRECK, BUT ANJIE REMAINS KNEELING BY FREAKY KITTY’S MOTIONLESS BODY, TRYING TO WAKE HER AS THE REMAINING ALTERNATE ANJIES CONTINUE TO PARTY AROUND THEM.)

(IN DIMENSION 5612, FANTAZMALAND, JUST IN FRONT OF THE CUCKOO CLUB BRIDGE.)

Scene: 4 (IN ALLSWELL HIGHSCHOOL LIBRARY)

(FIN: ACT 3)

~Purchase the Act 3 ebook HERE~

Next in Anjie's Universe: Act 4 [What Is This?]

The Fantastic Universe Of Anjie Zealand: Act 3 [One Fell Into The Cuckoo's Nest]

Scene: 1 (IN ALLSWELL HIGHSCHOOL CLASSROOM #102A)

(THE ENTIRE CLASS IS BORED AND PRACTICALLY PUT TO SLEEP BY THE DRONING VOICE OF THEIR TEACHER, WHO DOESN’T SEEM TO NOTICE AT ALL. ANJIE SITS IN THE BACK PRETENDING TO READ A TEXTBOOK WITH A COMIC BOOK IN IT.)

(IN THE ALLSWELL HIGHSCHOOL HALLWAYS)

(ANJIE HAS BEEN POSSESSED BY CREEPY ANJIE, AN ALTERNATE PERSONALITY WHO SNARLS AS SHE BREATHES HEAVILY AND CONSTANTLY HOLDS HER ARMS LIKE A T-REX.)

Scene: 2 (IN DIMENSION 5612, FANTAZMALAND)

(ANJIE HAS FOUND HERSELF YET AGAIN IN A REALM INSIDE HER OWN MIND, GENERALLY KNOWN AS *FANTAZMALAND*. A PAINTED WOODEN SIGN NEARBY READS 'WELCOME TO DIMENSION 5612 SOUTHEAST')

(CHERRY PIE ANJIE AND BLOOD MUFFINS ANJIE LOOK AT EACH OTHER AND SHRUG.)

Scene: 3 (IN THE CUCKOO CLUB, DIMENSION 5612, FANTAZMALAND.)

(THE CLUB IS LOCATED IN A WAREHOUSE ON A FLOATING ISLAND ABOVE A CRATER FULL OF LAVA. ANJIE CROSSES THE BRIDGE & ENTERS THE NEON-LIT NIGHTCLUB. ALL OVER THE PLACE ARE ALTERNATE VERSIONS OF HERSELF, DANCING, TALKING, PLAYING ARCADE GAMES, DRINKING, MAKING OUT...)

(MANY ANJIES CHEER AND HOLLER. ANJIE WAVES SHYLY AND PROCEEDS TO THE BAR.)

(FEELING ALOOF, ANJIE RECEIVES HER DRINK AND BECOMES SURROUNDED BY DIFFERENT VERSIONS OF HERSELF WHO ARE ALL EAGER FOR HER ATTENTION.)

(ANJIE PUSHES PAST A CLUSTER OF HER SELVES AND WALKS OVER TO THE FAMED GLITTER FOUNTAIN, WHERE AK’S ENTIRE BODY IS SUBMERGED EXCEPT FOR HER TAIL, WHICH ACTS LIKE A SUBMARINE PERISCOPE)

(BLACK RAINBOW COMES CRASHING DOWN THROUGH A SKYLIGHT AND LANDS ON THE GROUND WITH A HEAVY THUD. SHE SCANS THE CROWD OF ANJIES UNTIL SHE FINDS THE GODDAMN WHITE BUNNY, THEN MENACINGLY POINTS BOTH HER ROCKET LAUNCHER AND HER SAMURAI SWORD DIRECTLY AT HIM.)

(*KABOOM!!* BLACK RAINBOW BLOWS UP THE FOUNTAIN AND GLITTER EXPLODES EVERYWHERE.)

(BLACK RAINBOW SMILES IN TRIUMPH AS SEVERAL ANJIES CRY OUT IN TERROR; SHE THROWS THE GODDAMN BUNNY’S BODY ON THE GROUND BESIDE MERMAID ANJIE, WHO SCREAMS DRAMATICALLY IN HORROR.)

(THE CUCKOO CLUB INTERIOR IS A WRECK, BUT ANJIE REMAINS KNEELING BY FREAKY KITTY’S MOTIONLESS BODY, TRYING TO WAKE HER AS THE REMAINING ALTERNATE ANJIES CONTINUE TO PARTY AROUND THEM.)

(IN DIMENSION 5612, FANTAZMALAND, JUST IN FRONT OF THE CUCKOO CLUB BRIDGE.)

Scene: 4 (IN ALLSWELL HIGHSCHOOL LIBRARY)

(FIN: ACT 3)

~Purchase the Act 3 ebook HERE~

Next in Anjie's Universe: Act 4 [What Is This?]

The Fantastic Universe Of Anjie Zealand:
Act 3 [One Fell Into The Cuckoo's Nest]

(ANJIE HAS FOUND HERSELF YET AGAIN IN A REALM INSIDE HER OWN MIND, GENERALLY KNOWN AS FANTAZMALAND. A PAINTED WOODEN SIGN NEARBY READS 'WELCOME TO DIMENSION 5612 SOUTHEAST')

(KABOOM!! BLACK RAINBOW BLOWS UP THE FOUNTAIN AND GLITTER EXPLODES EVERYWHERE.)